I cannot believe I have not blogged since last March! I have been busy, and now I’m back. Blogging.
I’m ridiculously angry right now: I truly want to quit my job and be a professional fine artist, but the money transition scares me. I love my lifestyle, and I’m not sure that I want to take a few steps back in order to go forward. It’s not that I’m a coward…
I AM A TAURUS.
I like nice things… comfort… security. Unfortunately, I discovered this about this years ago but did not see the importance of finding comfort and security in my biggest asset… ME.
Isn’t there a saying that says something like “Once you admit it, you’re on your way to recovery,” or something like that?
A friend of mine posted something really cool on Facebook today about doing what you love. He said (in one place) ” What makes YOU angry? Anger is a key that YOU have the ability to solve that problem.” My ANGER is that I am being told what to do, how to do it, when to get there, and how to dress.
Sorry, at 52 years old, that ain’t happening, son.
The WHY of getting a job in the first place is long gone: a widow with 3 children who had to get a job to support her family (my youngest is a senior in college and I’m remarried). The WHAT that kept me working was tremendous success, growth, and (of course) the money. But it’s the WHO that’s keeping me angry and will make me move forward (light years): the ME that I AM now, and the ME who wants to be free to simply be… ME.
I have a lot of work ahead of me, and the first thing is to embrace this anger (heart palpitations and 4 hours of sleep each night is no longer an option… GOT TO GO) and allow it to MOVE me light years ahead to the ME who loves ME. There’s no reason to be angry that I’m not doing what I want to do. All I need to do it do it. And I’m gonna stop here and give myself a big old hug.